Arranging a Bride for Self
So… you are thinking that the topic is mean and abrasive. How can he treat brides like a commodity and what kind of hypocrite man is he? Perhaps in a extreme show of emotions few feminist readers may even call some Female Activist Group for such a remark by a minority community (Grooms in India) and mob my house or even vandalize my property, but sorry my fans you would be disappointed because I don’t have a single property in my name the only thing, which I possess officially is my Office Cubicle and you are most welcome to spoil the already messed up place.
The idea with this article is to share my experiences and make myself lighter from all the known and unknown guilt (No, it’s not about one Rock n Rolla Night or about Shoplifting ) I committed during the Bride shopping spree (Arranging my Marriage). Please make a note of my statement that the “Arranging a Bride for Self” is also applicable on Brides - “Arranging a Groom for Self” from the female point of thought.
Year 2009 has been amazing in terms of an experience call “Marriage”. Having fared rather average in my earlier assignments of “Love”, I was left with the only choice of an Arrange Marriage and I have accepted the fact that losers can’t be choosers. So, after a period / rounds of cajoling form my parents I gave into the pressure and said “Yes” to the concept of Arrange Marriage. My parents were all-agog with the newfound capitalism and started releasing advertisements in Newspapers and my brother even created my profile on one of the Matrimonial sites on-line. I was amazed with the speed and efficiency of my family but I had not a single clue that this ‘Bride hunting’ would be tougher task than ‘Job hunting’ or even ‘Love hunting’, because I believe Love can still be purchased and to an extent it can be auctioned also, but hold on…we are not getting onto it.
I was being flooded with profiles of girls from relatives, known and unknown well-wishers, but as expected none was fitting the bill of “The Perfect Bride”. My definition of the Perfect Bride; height between X to Z longitude, weight variable between 51 to 53 Kgs, face brightness and body contrast from 50 to 100% respectively and as Beautiful as an Indian Miss World or coming close to a Bollywood actress. Soon the veracity beckons upon me and I realized that the term “The Perfect Bride” is a “Myth” and the right term is “The Available Bride” because you would only get what is available in the Market (Newspaper matrimonial, Matrimonial web-sites, etc). The market has its own set of classification (TG oriented) – English Matrimony, Hindi / regional Matrimony, GuptaMatrimony.com, Shaadi.com, SimplyMarry.com, etc. Since I was feared of a Forced Marriage to any Girl of my parent’s choice, I decided it is better to select / shop from three-four of those best Markets, I went ahead and registered myself on 3-4 more online portals. Now, form here, the script takes and interesting twist, I went through umpteen profiles and started shopping. Found some of the weirdest one’s like – I want a teetotaler match (while I am only tea and alcohol man); I want a husband, who can be my friend (as if normally husbands are enemies); I want someone as cheerful as me (as if only girls have a copyright to happiness); I am not ready for marriage but since this is a custom I am ready to get into it but the relationship would not be binding from either side and both would be free to pursue their interests from every aspect of life (and… It was the scariest one). In the process I also encountered some good profiles and sent “Interest Messages” but till date am not able to get a positive acceptable reply from 100s of those profiles, though I get messages like “Itna paise (My Salary) mein itna nahi milega” – meaning “we regret that we would not be able to take it further”.
So, the process is very similar to a normal shopping – you have shops, range of products, which all comes with a price tag depending upon your cast, community, family, background, personality and job. The only difference is that the product (bride) also has a right here to reject you as a buyer and “Decline your Interest”. Till date, I am not able to find “The Available Match” leave aside “The Perfect Match” and have been rejected on ‘n’ counts for abortive attempts to sell myself to the set of Female audience. So, till now have done only Window Shopping for Brides and have told my heart that. “Hey! Idiot you don’t worry-Aal izz well.”
Arrange Marriage may have scored Aces against Love Marriage (In public forums) but Love would always manage Deuce, at the end of a set and eventually It’s Advantage “Love” in the game of ‘Marriage’. Perhaps the difference between a Love Marriage and Arrange marriage is that unlike love, arrange marriages can be traded while in the case of Love – as legend has it, ”You don’t buy Love, you Earn It”
So… you are thinking that the topic is mean and abrasive. How can he treat brides like a commodity and what kind of hypocrite man is he? Perhaps in a extreme show of emotions few feminist readers may even call some Female Activist Group for such a remark by a minority community (Grooms in India) and mob my house or even vandalize my property, but sorry my fans you would be disappointed because I don’t have a single property in my name the only thing, which I possess officially is my Office Cubicle and you are most welcome to spoil the already messed up place.
The idea with this article is to share my experiences and make myself lighter from all the known and unknown guilt (No, it’s not about one Rock n Rolla Night or about Shoplifting ) I committed during the Bride shopping spree (Arranging my Marriage). Please make a note of my statement that the “Arranging a Bride for Self” is also applicable on Brides - “Arranging a Groom for Self” from the female point of thought.
Year 2009 has been amazing in terms of an experience call “Marriage”. Having fared rather average in my earlier assignments of “Love”, I was left with the only choice of an Arrange Marriage and I have accepted the fact that losers can’t be choosers. So, after a period / rounds of cajoling form my parents I gave into the pressure and said “Yes” to the concept of Arrange Marriage. My parents were all-agog with the newfound capitalism and started releasing advertisements in Newspapers and my brother even created my profile on one of the Matrimonial sites on-line. I was amazed with the speed and efficiency of my family but I had not a single clue that this ‘Bride hunting’ would be tougher task than ‘Job hunting’ or even ‘Love hunting’, because I believe Love can still be purchased and to an extent it can be auctioned also, but hold on…we are not getting onto it.
I was being flooded with profiles of girls from relatives, known and unknown well-wishers, but as expected none was fitting the bill of “The Perfect Bride”. My definition of the Perfect Bride; height between X to Z longitude, weight variable between 51 to 53 Kgs, face brightness and body contrast from 50 to 100% respectively and as Beautiful as an Indian Miss World or coming close to a Bollywood actress. Soon the veracity beckons upon me and I realized that the term “The Perfect Bride” is a “Myth” and the right term is “The Available Bride” because you would only get what is available in the Market (Newspaper matrimonial, Matrimonial web-sites, etc). The market has its own set of classification (TG oriented) – English Matrimony, Hindi / regional Matrimony, GuptaMatrimony.com, Shaadi.com, SimplyMarry.com, etc. Since I was feared of a Forced Marriage to any Girl of my parent’s choice, I decided it is better to select / shop from three-four of those best Markets, I went ahead and registered myself on 3-4 more online portals. Now, form here, the script takes and interesting twist, I went through umpteen profiles and started shopping. Found some of the weirdest one’s like – I want a teetotaler match (while I am only tea and alcohol man); I want a husband, who can be my friend (as if normally husbands are enemies); I want someone as cheerful as me (as if only girls have a copyright to happiness); I am not ready for marriage but since this is a custom I am ready to get into it but the relationship would not be binding from either side and both would be free to pursue their interests from every aspect of life (and… It was the scariest one). In the process I also encountered some good profiles and sent “Interest Messages” but till date am not able to get a positive acceptable reply from 100s of those profiles, though I get messages like “Itna paise (My Salary) mein itna nahi milega” – meaning “we regret that we would not be able to take it further”.
So, the process is very similar to a normal shopping – you have shops, range of products, which all comes with a price tag depending upon your cast, community, family, background, personality and job. The only difference is that the product (bride) also has a right here to reject you as a buyer and “Decline your Interest”. Till date, I am not able to find “The Available Match” leave aside “The Perfect Match” and have been rejected on ‘n’ counts for abortive attempts to sell myself to the set of Female audience. So, till now have done only Window Shopping for Brides and have told my heart that. “Hey! Idiot you don’t worry-Aal izz well.”
Arrange Marriage may have scored Aces against Love Marriage (In public forums) but Love would always manage Deuce, at the end of a set and eventually It’s Advantage “Love” in the game of ‘Marriage’. Perhaps the difference between a Love Marriage and Arrange marriage is that unlike love, arrange marriages can be traded while in the case of Love – as legend has it, ”You don’t buy Love, you Earn It”
